Friday, December 26, 2008
This snowy weather keeps on being more and more of a pain in my ass! Aie aie aie will it never end?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am incensed right now. So I came out to work, on foot of course I don' drive, to get my check, fed ex is not delivering the checks today due to bad weather and it's not even snowing. I could scream! I could fucking scream!!!! I am so broke it's not funny and I got nothing for Christmas not even a fucking howdy do gift card!!! Oh Mon Grand Met my blood pressure is up. So now I have to wait until Monday to get paid and I am like I can't stand this shit.
And no I do not have DD so don't ask why I aint got it aiight! I need a fucking drink!!! I need a fuckin drink and a big giant burger. I hate the snow! I hate hate hate hate hate the snow!!!!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
So on Christmas Eve after two days off and paid, hallelujah and praise be to Jesus and that's real I had to return to work. I got up at the ass side of dawn not the butt crack because the well the butt crack of dawn is sunrise or early dawn. No when I got up and left for work it was dark and it was snowing. Right that wretched, frigid, wet cold crap that keeps on fucking falling!!!! Freaking enough already. This by the way is what I woke up too.
So annyways after waitig for hte bus for about I dunno 45 minutes in the freezing cold and wet snow it came this time while it was late not full I just ocunted my blessing an count on to an uneventful ride that dropped me off at work in the burs here.
I get to work at 9 and and start my day grumbling it is the eve of Noel and I am cold, wet, miserable, and I just wanna go home you know? They decide after to 45 minutes and hours of travel for me to woerk that we can get off at 10 am. And yes I called the weather line 3 times as I was even going to work. I was like what? Great for the early let off but y'all could of just let us all stay home in this crap.
After that saw O. O is a trip's this 23 year old cat pretty cool. Nice guy seems to be a good friend. New to town from Miss. Bought pringles with him and hten headed ot his new apt which is spendy but nice. Then I headed home and spent the evening watching some good tv and having a couple of beers. That night I also spoke with Aron about just some things and I dunno I felt valued I felt like I was of help which is goo to feel. I mean the fact that I was there for a friend it was a good thing, plus Aron is dearheart really he is. Even with all of his drunken I love text messages he sends which I can guarantee I will get 3 at least once a month. Love you man. Love you lots.
Noel today is calm, restful, no gifts, no family, a nice handsome male, no drama, sleeping and eating, and watching dvds. I feel nan depression, nor sorrow but right now I am hungry again. Get paid tomorrow thank you Mon Dieu, and probably going to hang out with Javiav. Aint seem him in awhile and it would be nice to just chill and have a nice drink.
This breaking news
Eartha Kitt, sultry 'Santa Baby' singer, dies
12/25/2008 6:36 PM, AP
Eartha Kitt, a sultry singer, dancer and actress who rose from South Carolina cotton fields to become an international symbol of elegance and sensuality, has died, a family spokesman said. She was 81.
Andrew Freedman said Kitt, who was recently treated at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital, died Thursday in Connecticut of colon cancer.
Kitt, a self-proclaimed "sex kitten" famous for her catlike purr, was one of America's most versatile performers, winning two Emmys and nabbing a third nomination. She also was nominated for several Tonys and two Grammys.
Her career spanned six decades, from her start as a dancer with the famed Katherine Dunham troupe to cabarets and acting and singing on stage, in movies and on television. She persevered through an unhappy childhood as a mixed-race daughter of the South and made headlines in the 1960s for denouncing the Vietnam War during a visit to the White House.
Through the years, Kitt remained a picture of vitality and attracted fans less than half her age even as she neared 80.
When her book "Rejuvenate," a guide to staying physically fit, was published in 2001, Kitt was featured on the cover in a long, curve-hugging black dress with a figure that some 20-year-old women would envy. Kitt also wrote three autobiographies.
Once dubbed the "most exciting woman in the world" by Orson Welles, she spent much of her life single, though brief romances with the rich and famous peppered her younger years.
After becoming a hit singing "Monotonous" in the Broadway revue "New Faces of 1952," Kitt appeared in "Mrs. Patterson" in 1954-55. (Some references say she earned a Tony nomination for "Mrs. Patterson," but only winners were publicly announced at that time.) She also made appearances in "Shinbone Alley" and "The Owl and the Pussycat."
Her first album, "RCA Victor Presents Eartha Kitt," came out in 1954, featuring such songs as "I Want to Be Evil," "C'est Si Bon" and the saucy gold digger's theme song "Santa Baby," which is revived on radio each Christmas.
The next year, the record company released follow-up album "That Bad Eartha," which featured "Let's Do It," "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" and "My Heart Belongs to Daddy."
In 1996, she was nominated for a Grammy in the category of traditional pop vocal performance for her album "Back in Business." She also had been nominated in the children's recording category for the 1969 record "Folk Tales of the Tribes of Africa."
Kitt also acted in movies, playing the lead female role opposite Nat King Cole in "St. Louis Blues" in 1958 and more recently appearing in "Boomerang" and "Harriet the Spy" in the 1990s.
On television, she was the sexy Catwoman on the popular "Batman" series in 1967-68, replacing Julie Newmar who originated the role. A guest appearance on an episode of "I Spy" brought Kitt an Emmy nomination in 1966.
"Generally the whole entertainment business now is bland," she said in a 1996 Associated Press interview. "It depends so much on gadgetry and flash now. You don't have to have talent to be in the business today.
"I think we had to have something to offer, if you wanted to be recognized as worth paying for."
Kitt was plainspoken about causes she believed in. Her anti-war comments at the White House came as she attended a White House luncheon hosted by Lady Bird Johnson.
"You send the best of this country off to be shot and maimed," she told the group of about 50 women. "They rebel in the street. They don't want to go to school because they're going to be snatched off from their mothers to be shot in Vietnam."
For four years afterward, Kitt performed almost exclusively overseas. She was investigated by the FBI and CIA, which allegedly found her to be foul-mouthed and promiscuous.
"The thing that hurts, that became anger, was when I realized that if you tell the truth — in a country that says you're entitled to tell the truth — you get your face slapped and you get put out of work," Kitt told Essence magazine two decades later.
In 1978, Kitt returned to Broadway in the musical "Timbuktu!" — which brought her a Tony nomination — and was invited back to the White House by President Jimmy Carter.
In 2000, Kitt earned another Tony nod for "The Wild Party." She played the fairy godmother in Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" in 2002.
As recently as October 2003, she was on Broadway after replacing Chita Rivera in a revival of "Nine."
She also gained new fans as the voice of Yzma in the 2000 Disney animated feature "The Emperor's New Groove.'"
In an online discussion at Washingtonpost.com in March 2005, shortly after Jamie Foxx and Morgan Freeman won Oscars, she expressed satisfaction that black performers "have more of a chance now than we did then to play larger parts."
But she also said: "I don't carry myself as a black person but as a woman that belongs to everybody. After all, it's the general public that made (me) — not any one particular group. So I don't think of myself as belonging to any particular group and never have."
Kitt was born in North, S.C., and her road to fame was the stuff of storybooks. In her autobiography, she wrote that her mother was black and Cherokee while her father was white, and she was left to live with relatives after her mother's new husband objected to taking in a mixed-race girl.
An aunt eventually brought her to live in New York, where she attended the High School of Performing Arts, later dropping out to take various odd jobs.
By chance, she dropped by an audition for the dance group run by Dunham, a pioneering African-American dancer. In 1946, Kitt was one of the Sans-Souci Singers in Dunham's Broadway production "Bal Negre."
Kitt's travels with the Dunham troupe landed her a gig in a Paris nightclub in the early 1950s. Kitt was spotted by Welles, who cast her in his Paris stage production of "Faust."
That led to a role in "New Faces of 1952," which featured such other stars-to-be as Carol Lawrence, Paul Lynde and, as a writer, Mel Brooks.
While traveling the world as a dancer and singer in the 1950s, Kitt learned to perform in nearly a dozen languages and, over time, added songs in French, Spanish and even Turkish to her repertoire.
"Usku Dara," a song Kitt said was taught to her by the wife of a Turkish admiral, was one of her first hits, though Kitt says her record company feared it too remote for American audiences to appreciate.
Song titles such as "I Want to be Evil" and "Just an Old Fashioned Girl" seem to reflect the paradoxes in Kitt's private life.
Over the years, Kitt had liaisons with wealthy men, including Revlon founder Charles Revson, who showered her with lavish gifts.
In 1960, she married Bill McDonald but divorced him after the birth of their daughter, Kitt.
While on stage, she was daringly sexy and always flirtatious. Offstage, however, Kitt described herself as shy and almost reclusive, remnants of feeling unwanted and unloved as a child. She referred to herself as "that little urchin cotton-picker from the South, Eartha Mae."
For years, Kitt was unsure of her birthplace or birth date. In 1997, a group of students at historically black Benedict College in Columbia, S.C., located her birth certificate, which verified her birth date as Jan. 17, 1927. Kitt had previously celebrated on Jan. 26.
The research into her background also showed Kitt was the daughter of a white man, a poor cotton farmer.
"I'm an orphan. But the public has adopted me and that has been my only family," she told the Post online. "The biggest family in the world is my fans."
Associated Press Drama Writer Michael Kuchwara contributed to this report.
Well I almost forgot all of you Joyeux Noel and Good Kwanzaa be blessed all of you every one. Adieu. Bissous.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Si aujourd'hui se dimanche. Et il niege encore! Je deteste le niege. Deteste li, deteste li, deteste li! First of all il gele! Ouais j'ai le dire! Il gele! Secondly Seattle has no way of coping iwththis much snow so it piles up and makes the hwole city shut down and is generally and quickly becoming a pain in my ass! however it is kinda pretty even though that novelty has worn off as well. This is though a cool day. I didn't have to go to work because the office was closed. Also I am here with my homie Aron just chilin' and bloggin' to all of you. We're watching Batman and just relaxing which is what I need it is good to have friends and Aron is one of my good ones.
Trumph and I
Well Trumph and I have been doing okay. There has been on his end an attempt at friendship which I am accepting though I feel there may be more there on his part. I am not sure though of that nor is this wishful thinking just a feeling I have. I suppose that this is good. We are not full of loathing of each other and hatred so you know life goes on.
Well guyz that's it. Bon Dimanche. Good Sunday. Stay dry, have a good Noel, and above all be blessed. Adieu mes zamis!!! Bissous!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Trumph calls me on occassion and it is almost as if he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Well hell naw he broke up with me and I damn sure let him remember that too. Males can be the most arrggghhh!!!! you know I'm sure what i mean. On the other hand our post breakup time has been pretty good. We have not had drama really at all which I welcome. Trumph is still if anything mellow as can be.
It is snowing here in Seattle and the city ios covered in the wretched stuff. I hate snow. It looses all of the novelty and beauty for me when I am freezing and soaked in frigid ice water. As for the white part, I am completely over it and u know what I mean too. I hate the cold too, I can not wait for Spring and summer hiver, you can have it!
I am broke for Noel but so is everyone else so I am not worried at all. Noel aint about gifts anyways it is about the birth of Jesus Christ. Maybe this year we can all get that part right. Plus though I like gitfs I have never understood while all these people go broke all year roundto pay for chirstams gifts! Makes no sense at all. Do gifts sure but just be smart about and do not let someone pressure you into living up to their standards which in this economy are flawed anyways. Spend spend spend and yet who has the money? Stupid I think.
Well other than that life is good. I am well and I like my life. I am growing , pregressing, and really I am liking being single. If only because i belong only to me now. That works. It is a great relieft to not have to answer to Trumph. Plus I have not felt this good in a while. It has taken time but I overcame a break up and I feel not broken but alive. I survived it and I will thrive. It is that elemental. Well guyz listen joyeaux noel tous, and have a blessed day. Bissous.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
This is too much!
This is some deep and good stuff we all need to see. What image has opened your yes to human rights violations? Please respond on my page on youtube or my blog let's talk about real stuff.
This is some deep and good stuff we all need to see. What image has opened your yes to human rights violations? Please respond on my page on youtube or my blog let's talk about real stuff.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Life has been cool I've been seeing a therapist and it has realy helped. I feel good and I have not relapsed so it must be working. So yeah my mental health is good thereforeI'm good, keeping everythibng in perspective one day at a time you know.... Though as far as Trumph goes it's all good. My pain has lessened and I am relearning how to be single again if that makes sense. Well I mean that is what you have to do. Relearn it all. So I am starting to do the whole dating and tkaing numbers and calling niggas thing. I dunno. I can't say it is fun and to be frank and brutally honest i am just doing it for the hopes of getting some dick or ass at this moment. I am not wanting all the lovey duvey stuff. One thing I am revelling in is my freedom. I hate and always have being tied down. Being at the beck and call of some male who 9 times out of ten want to control you in some way. And I aiont talking about being fidel to them either.
It's just I like to be able to come and go as I please, see who I want, do what I want and yeah there is lonlieness I will not lie but it's kinda worth it. I am not having to comfort anyone or hold their hand or give them my hard earned money or worry about us... Just about me, which is hard enuff gotta tell ya. Though one thing really annoys the hell out of me with this. SO when i was ingle the males buzzed around me as bees to honey. Every other male was trying to get me in thier beds to do some unfaithful shit but now that I am single, I can't find nay of htem! you know how it goes right. When you are attached you have temptation when you are single you can hardly get someone to give you ahug let alone anything else. And it is drving me crazy because I have BEEN REALLY FUCKING HORNY & I WANT TO HAVE SEXX!!! LOTS OF IT! That's right I said it. I want to fuck an ass and have mine fucked! I want to be sucked off and bust in someones fucking maw! I want an orgasm that will make my damned kness fucking tremble!!!! I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!!!!! Yeah I know it's not PC or polite but who cares? At least I am honest.
So yes single vs attached both great both not so great I am enjoying the no attachement status... For now. That will probably change but for now I am doing me and enjoying life best as I can. Though this holiday season will be a bit ruff i can make it thru. I have to I have faced worse than before. Though I think it will be along time before I choose to live with a boyfriend ever again. They can maybe live with me I aint going no where this next time around.
Thanksgving was cool I went and jung with friends and had some of the best smoked trukey in my life. I ate some of it today heavenly, so was the ham. Though between you and me I wish someone I know knew how to make and would prepare a big fat juicy duck. I want some duck. Or even better a turducken. What's a turducken? It Creole fowl goodness that's what it is and I love it and I want to eat one. Yes a whole one by myself. Covered in bacon. Oh god how delicious. I'm hungry now.
As for Seattle well it is raining and wet and nasty and cold. I hate it and of course i have a cold I coaught from Jorge's brother and that is not da bizness. My nose is clogged and shit ahh bien there is always something.
I am though living for myself, loving my life, feeling kinda blessed an I know I will be okay. God is wathcing out for me and all of it is as I thought all falling into place. So there you go. Be blessed all of you.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Oh come not like none of y'all never got that kinda itch. I think I kinda opened the floodgates now because all of sudden I am extremely horny. I want everyone now. Oh well shit it was bound to happen at some point. These are the times I hate living in the NW. Lack of black men who like black men here in the NW it always kills me. All these fine black men into scraggly looking white men. I will never get that. I just won't.
Whatever the case things are evening out and I'm feeling pretty good hopefully this will all be of benefit well of course it will be and we shall just see. Well wish me luck guyz...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Bonjou vas tous? Pas si bon pou moi. Infact it is horrible. I have been and am reeling. The breakup with Trumph, the loss of our apartment, having to live with friends, the stress of performing well at my job and worse of all the feeling of isolation… All of it gnawing ever persistently at my heart like a poison. On Friday night when I got paid I wanted my pain to stop. I wanted to not hurt and so I relapsed…..I wanted no more pain you understand. I was tired of my life being as it has been in these past weeks. I wanted to die and so I figured maybe that night I could overdose. I never did overdoes but I sure as hell fucked myself over.
I spent all my money. Not some all of it. Now I must face the music and face the painful fact that even though many people around are like Kyon you are so strong I am not and can’t be strong all the time. My soul has been cracking and buckling for a while now and all I feel is the pain.
SO because I relapsed I had to be honest with folkz that were important in my life. And I was and I lost some of them because of it. Or one of them more importantly Javiav. He called me so many ugly things, he felt betrayed and he said he is out of my life I just lost a friend and perhaps the promise of something more. But in a sense I feel clean I told him, I told my parents, my family, my friends who could see me at my best and bigger than myself because I knew I could not fall back into this and I knew I needed to be accountable and honest. Part of me wishes I never told Javiav but I was not going to lie to him about it. I was honorable about that at least. It’s I suppose easy to throw people away and kick them when they are down than it is to extend the hand.
However I am crawling out of the hole. I choose not to sit in my shit. I have a therapist I will be seeing on Thursday and I will be commencing going once again to the meetings those things I despise!!! But that I need for myself. I am listening to Departed right now and I feel a little better. I am having to move again too, of course I was honest with my roommates and they do not trust me which I can hardly blame them. At least I am taking responsibility. I was honest with them I even in the face of their choices. I understand it.
Didn’t I just shoot myself in both feet and then hack off my toes? Ouais j’ai fait. Of course I have knocked myself over the head many times and I have been kicked in the head by Javiav already enough mentally at least that I am over all that. All that is going forward and putting the breaks on this thing that can pull me only deeper into crap. My binge lasted one night and caused so much pain and damage but most of the damage can be repaired. The pain can heal. I can heal I just have to do what I have to do to get I under control and I will.
Addiction you see is not a pretty thing and at times even when you think you have killed it will rear its ugly head and let you know how vulnerable you are to it. I haven ever striven to be perfect on this blog. Nor have I tried to be. I am most painfully a man complete with talents, intelligence, good character, flaws, a past, and some not so great qualities. It’s all wrapped up in me. Still I wish I felt no pain and I wish I could gauge my internal boil better. I am always like I am strong mentally nothing really hurts me, I know how to cry when I need to, I know how to emote and let things go but that is not always true.
Still I wish….. I wish had never met him sometimes….I wish I never knew him… Who is him. That is for me to know?
Well there it is a man’s soul laid bare. If you struggle with drugs or alcohol and you are facing stress do not face it alone. Let people know, don’t be ashamed and get help. Relapses are anything but fun. Trust me…
All is well I am doing better I have found a therapist and I start with her tomorrow alos I will be doing some other things such as a group tomorrow as well staying still in Kent in a better place. I have worked out my issues and I feel good better. I just nneded to be in the right nmind and I finally feel as if I am. I have been doing well at work and I have been limiting my stresses and keeping away from things that oculd set me off. The road to recovery is never easy and it's a lifelong process. I suppose though that sharing this process is good. If I can help someone with this struggle if anyone can learn from this than all I have gone thru is worth it. Because it is not for me trully oftentimes what we go thru is for someone else.
That's the crux of it. SO I am better, I'm doing better, and this speed bump which is all the relapse was has made me stronger and more reallyaware of my feelings. I can't be strong all the time even I break and I have to be okay with that or at least I am learning to be okay with that.
Well all be blessed and show love to those around you.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
this is an amazing song, the message that is being delivered is so true, we as in people always call on jesus to help get us out of situations we can't handle, but we never call on him to say thank you, or say i appreciate you...GOD WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TRUE ENOUGH, BUT WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM FOR MORE THAN JUST ASKING AND WANTING,WE SHOULD DO SOME ACCEPTING AND APPRECIATING OF WHAT GOD ALLOWS, BECAUSE WHAT GOD ALLOWS IS WHAT HE ALLOWS,TAKE SOME TIME OUT TO TELL HIM THANKS
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Bonjou vas tous? How goes it with all of you? By now if you are reading this you have deduced I hope at least, that Trumph and I have broken up. If you haven’t hen you’re stupid. Yes you are. Sorry I have to lash out at something. Right now I ‘m staying with John and Kim in Kent a suburb outside of my beloved Seattle. It’s nice house, I have my own room for the moment but I absolutely despise the whole situation. Meanwhile Trumph I assume is back with his mother in the same neighborhood that we left. How do I feel you may be asking? Trumph and I were together for 4 years total. How do I feel? I feel strange… I am confused. Every emotion is bubbling under my skin and racing through my blood. Some moments I feel relieved. I am single again, I can see who I want, and I can find a man who has the qualities that I want at least the ones that Trumph lacked. On the other hand I feel a great grief. Trumph loved me and he says he still does and I do love him it’s just the problems we had became too great. I miss his presence especially at night. He is not beside me and I feel so lonely. The loneliness is killing me. I never knew that silence could be so loud or at least I don’t remember how loud it was.
At night l lay in this hard bed by myself and have only myself now to comfort me. It’s hard none of this is easy. Still I tell myself it’s for the best. My mom called me last night and we talked and she was like well you seem alright…But it was a serious front. I suppose even in some of my private moments I still believe the appearance of strength is vital. Yet I feel so empty and I want to be held. I could care less if you think it’s bitching or whatever I do. I want someone to hold me and tell me it will be alright. Well that and I wanna have sex too. I do it’s been awhile and my body feels on fire too. So you see I am feeling everything and nothing makes sense.
Then there is Javiav. Aie mo Grand Met, sicre, beau, and powerful towering Javiav. I am falling for him. I have been for sometime, and I accepted friendship because of Trumph and because of Javiav being such a gentleman. That helped. However now that I am single…? And I believe Javiav has feelings. For me no scratch that shit he does. It was no more evident this weekend and my God Javiav how I owe you a debt. I do feel things for him, more than just lust….And that scares me. For 2 reasons.
1. I need some time but I also want some of him. I want this to be something good not shitty so I have to hold back for some time but I love being around him. I do like his company most of the time. This leads me to issue 2.
2. Javiav is from da block as he always tells me. Not a bad thing, some guyz are I get that. However some of the things that linger from those bygone days is a temper that can sweep aside any and everything in an instant. Javiav especially when he’s had a bit to sip can go from 0 to 10 in no time at all. And he gets angry. Now with such males in the past with careful conciliatory gestures and not a little bit of tongue biting myself I have been able to calm them down. Not with this male. I have had that rage affixed upon me a little bit and it does not feel good. Especially because Javiav can be so damn suspicious though as he says he does not trust readily or easily. So it is a dilemma for me. Javiav has a lot of the qualities I want in a man sans the temper but that is a big thing to me plus it’s the timing.
All I can do is take everything one step at a time. That is all I can do.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Obama est notre president!!!! Merci bon Dieu aie merci!!!! This was one ofhte most jubilant experiences of my life and I am so excited now for the future of our people, our country, and our world!!! Vive Obama! Vive Obama!!!!!! I never thought I would live to see this even ifI am hungover....
Monday, November 03, 2008
Put a ring on it white Girl Style!!!LOLOLOL!
This chick is out of Seattle and I love this song especially this jazz remix. And the music soothes me...
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I want to feel no pain yet they say that when you feel pain you know that you are living. For w/o pain how could I or anyone else value trully value the joy. So for now I can deal with the pain. Still Sade has always been comforting to my soul in times like this.
Monday, October 27, 2008
However I know that in time all wounds will heal and while I do really know how it feels to be stressed out I will make this thing work out eventually. All will be well in time...
This songs says how I feel now...It was a long time comin' but still it hurts you know.. It hurts me. Because I do still love him. I still do love Trumph. But I know this is for the best. Or at least that is what I am telling myself. God still it feels like part of me has been ripped away.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
If you want to see reactions and all to this video you can vist you tube and don't forget to visit my you tube page guyz! LUV U ALL!!!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Hey guyz this blog post is composedo ver the last 2 days so enjoy I am back!
SAK PASSE!!!! Bonjou mes zamis, ouais, oauis me konne longtemps non me voir huh? Bien j’ai retourne a vous mes zamis as you always knew that I would. Aie sicre Marie, Joseph et Jesu au ciel what I times and adventures and all around craziness have I had since I‘ve been gone from all of you in blogland. Where to being, what shall I tell you all? Well I suppose I should begin with the most pertinent things.
I am now 31 as of 10/10/08, I had a lovely 3 day holiday from work in honor of my birthday. Most of the holiday I hung with my good friend, (who is most handsome and gracious) Javiav. We mostly hung out, watching movies, eating, drinking, and having really good discussions. I spent the early of hours of my birthday infact nursing Javiav through a bout of drunkenness which was fine with me, better he had stayed with me while Trumph was out giggin’ then finding out he had been harmed driving drunk later on.
The next day was a little party and dinner with my sister in law Tiffanska et compagnie which was nice. I got some presents, a little cash, a book the Boleyn Inheritance which is amazing, a pack of cigarettes, Robin Thicke’s new CD which is lovely, and then I had to work the next day because those fools above have changed my schedule again. This is a more than rotten piece of luck because I simply despise with a passion, working on the weekends.
How do I feel being 31? No different at all. I have good health; I’m VIH negative, I feel as I did when I was 30. And apparently according to my friend Carolina my skin has taken on a healthy glow that is making me look luminous which is da shit, ‘cause I mean who doesn’t want to look more handsome or beautiful? I know I do and apparently so I am. Whew okay well that is out of the way.
Trumph and I
We are having some issues. Trumph has finally gotten a job and is acting more the part of the man I desire him to be…Finally…However he is still Trumph and he hurt in the time we were gone with what I thought was blatant selfishness and utter self regard which did not at all regard or give two shakes of shit and damn about me! It had to do with us moving and his lack of being on top of things that almost made us both homeless… Pardon me made me almost homeless he had a place to go and when I asked him of my fate he almost coldly asked didn’t I have friends. Don’t you know folks Kyon? The utter insolence and insult of such a statement! I still feel a stirring and fire in blood that heats my skin feverish hot and burns within my chest like vitriolic fire! How dare he even consider!?? I am his man, I am a damn good man, all faults aside and for him to suddenly be getting his shit together, and then to attempt to cast me to the side in such a way. I cried later on over it, not out of hopelessness I am employed and resourceful and I do have friends so I would never be homeless again… But the hurt which it caused me (All the support at least financially among other things he does not owe me shit but still how dare HE?)….I still love him but something in me has broken just a bit. He broke my heart.
However we are alright for now though I believe it may b best for us to live apart. Not to terminate the relationship but perhaps time apart would be good for us. I am not willing to cast him aside so easily though things sometimes with him are not easy. He is not a bad or evil man, he has never hit me, has never really even called me out my name, nor is he malicious or cruel, and he is forgiving. He is learning and growing and I have been patient and some of that patience is paying off…A good man is hard to find so there you go. Though between you and I, there are those who would take me if I found myself unattached. But you and I both know that what is new is not always better. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way. So we are on shaky ground but I will still hold tight to him for now.
So I have been getting some good music lately. And I wish to do my own little reviews. So Jennifer Hudson’s new CD y’all heard it. I love her voice but not all of the songs. Pocket Book, Spotlight, and My Man Loves me, My Heart, and I Can’t Stop the Rain are all good but on a whole the CD seems lack luster. I expected more and it is just okay… It aint her fault though she simply is too good of a singer and some of these folks don’t know how to put music together for her. Still it she can sing so if you like her get the CD. The Pussycat Dolls is a bit of fluff but they actually have some cuts that I like so I give that recommendation. Best CDs I have lately though is Robin Thicke full of cuts, and Joe’s newest also full of cuts even though he is a dumbass that has never voted still his music is tight. (My God for real Joe are you for real? You a member of the People have never voted? Do you know how many of us died so that you could have the right?!!) I recommend them both. Finally for Hip Hop I got Nelly and TI’s latest. TI’s is a must have. His beats are da shit and almost all of his stuff kept my head bobbin…Nelly uhm not so much. He had some cuts but most of it was not da bizness. So there you have it my musical picks. Get them or not.
Well the economy has been going up and down which as been utterly terrifying. As if we need anything else to get worse. I am voting for Obama that is assured I am firmly convinced only he can get us out of this horrid mess. The world is in turmoil no doubt. This economic crisis has only been fueling more chaos. I fear a rise of racism. Infact I have seen it. In this country when things go bad, Jews, Our People, and the Latinos tend to be blamed. And we all know that the Bekes are insane when their pocket books seem to flip. Don’t believe me look at history.
Terry and I were accosted by some unsavory Beke who told us to go back to Africa. He was gross though and I told him to shut da fuck up and got him kicked off of the bus we were on still it was an unsettling experience. In this current political climate anything like that is harbinger of worse to come. Perhaps I over exaggerate but I know history and I have seen these things before.
So it appears that people have been saying unsavory things about me. I am what have I heard? A drug addict. Well I have a past and I have had issues with that. True but I know who and what I am and a drug addict is not that. I may be in recovery but I am no addict. Trumph beats me. Oh really. I don’t do a battered male. I’m too cute for it, and really if Trumph beat me do you think he would survive the night of the beating with a male such as I beside him? Right. Right. Finally the worst Kyon is a prostitute. Well I must be a horrible one because I am broke and have no clients. Really there are some things I have never done and will never do. That is one of them. I can barely stand being told what to do by the men I date and bed, let alone some man paying for the privilege of doing so! Ridiculous. Look if you are spreading untrue rumors about people stop it. ‘Cause it’s all fun in games until you get confronted. Isn’t it Steve? Right you fucking coward, if I had no honor I would tell in blogland how you hate me and spread such lies because you wanted to fuck me but I found you to be disgusting and give you nan the attention you want. I could tell them how on Sunday I confronted you after you spoke yet another lie to Javiav and got your face cracked so much that you fled the crescent in terror. But I won’t. Well I just did. I know I am an evil thing aren’t I? Well mes cheres that much aint changed.
I want to thank all of the many friends for being who they are and just loving me in spite of myself. I love you all and I want to thank you. I want my birthday gifts too!
Mike and Cliff
The Tony trinity
Carolina and Jorge
And finally to my beloved Paul Johnson who passed last week. Oh my poor sweet, fiercely proud, and independent Paul. I loved you long ago and have many sweet memories of dalliances, laughter, joy, tears, and just life. I’m smiling now at the memory of your face. How you were able to put up with such a silly slip of a boy is beyond me but you did. And you got see me full circle in my own, with my Bumpalump and my Trumph. Why is it always the ones who are good for this earth have to leave it while those who in my opinion are an utter waste of space cling to survival like tapeworms? It is not fair life is nor fair. Paul you touched me, you taught me things as a young man that I have always remembered and I will always cherish the times good and bad that I was allowed by the Bon Dieu to spend with you. I love you buddy, and I know you are in a much better place. Paix mon zami et adieu.
It’s Da Questions Dawg Da Questions
1. Do any of you know that we are to flashes away from going to war with Pakistan? Uhm aren’t they are allies. Yeah they may not be fighting the Taliban that well but does that mean that we have the right to violate their territory. Is the US trying to have the whole Islamic World inflamed at us anymore than they are over the debacle that is Iraq? You’d have thought Bush has figured this out by now but ahh bien we all know that fool doesn’t think unless Cheney fingers him like a puppet!
2. Why on earth is Thandie Newton going to play Condeleeza Ricei n the Bush Bio Pic? They should’ve picked someone else like Robin Givens. Thandie you are too good to play that Auntie Thomasina!!!
3. Why is everything always poisoned in China? Poisoned baby milk, poisoned cookies, poisoned toys, and now poisoned vaccines! If I lived in China I think I would starve to death. I’d be to scared shitless to eat or drink anything. Or play with a toy!
4. Isn’t it frightening that in these last days of the election race, that RACE is still the unspoken boogey scapegoat image? It is to me for the most obvious of reasons. We’ve seen this before it’s called Nazi Germany, I mean Young Turks Turkey, I mean Rwanda, I mean Yougoslavia, I mean well you fill in the blank. Don’t think it can’t happen here. Don’t ever get that comfortable.
5. For all my brothas and sistas don’t you just love being Black?
6. I wonder why in Seattle I am having all these people that I have turned down sexually suddenly saying the most crazy things about me? I mean I’m sorry but I don’t get turned on by being insulted and called a whore! Well I do sometimes but not in this instance.
7. Doesn’t is it ever surprise you how brainless men can be when their dick starts to stir? I know I’m included in this too. But seriously we males can do such stupid things for some ass or some nok, or some dick. Which would probably explain some of the stupid things some males do around me…. Sigh….
8. Why do some males have to be so damn difficult? Why do I always like the difficult ones? Am I crazy? Well I actually am but that’s beside the point! Well it is.
9. How come my friends tickle me in public every chance they get and laugh at the sounds I make? It is annoying and embarrasses me. Even if I secretly like them doing it.
Whew. Well wasn’t that a bit of tizzy? Had a lot to say and I feel better already. Do forgive me for staying away so long please. It’s embarrassing almost all of you posting and I sooo busy I can’t even post a hello? I know I will not do it again. Oh and hey I have a new You Tube Channel so check it out subscribe I plan to make it an extension of my blog soon so. I got some cool stuff on my page though so. Well I believe I should sign off I think I’ve given you quite a bit for now. I hope you like the pictures I’ve posted too, you know how I just do random things. Be blessed, show love and stay up guyz. Things aint great but they aint horrific either.
OH AND GET OUT AND VOTE NONE OF CAN ILL AFFORD TO BE APATHETICE AT THIS TIME! SO GET OUT AND VOTE! PAIX!!!!
It’s starting to rain again; everything’s gone now even the sun…. Aint that the truth. Seattle is Seattle again, the splendor of Summer’s kiss has left the face of the Emerald City and the skies above us all have become gray choked with the pervasive bone numbing wet chill that only we can understand. In short the weather is quite miserable enough without the ever persistent threat of frigid water falling upon us in sound spawned tempests. However it is just the weather and such wetness keeps the city in her green so I suppose I should not complain so much.
Well bonjou vas tous! How are all of you this day? Bien j’espere. I am at work and on pins and needles. My job that has been pretty chill for the most part has turned into the court of Henry the VIII thanks to this convulsing and floundering economy. They just laid off several people in my building in the past half hour including my sites director. It is in a word terrifying. Now is not the time to be out of work. The favor that I have enjoyed at this job now seems dreadfully uncertain and I’m not sure what to do. Perhaps begin looking though this of course is hardly the time with all I need to be doing to look for anything else. I like this job if for the benefits if nothing else. Pay aint that bad either but now… Aie sicre Jesu protégé mon travail s’il vous plait. ‘Cause I feel like they’re bringing the block for me. What a most frightening feeling in these uncertain times ‘cause I aint rich. In the meantime to focus on other less volatile things I am enjoying right now a cup of the vert and a doughnut while listening to Mary J Blige. Perhaps she could soothe my agitation between working wit my clients.
Last night I cooked for and dined with Carolina, Jorge, and Trumph and then we watched some hilariously stupid B Horror Movie called Hatchet. Hey if you get a chance check this flick out you will be cracking up. We laughed for a good while. Now I am back at court with my insane upper management changing their rules on whims and firing people like a mad tyrant on a gilded throne obsessed with his own vanity. I have never looked more forward to my days off as I do at this moment. That and there are spies everywhere in this place I have already had my own words spoken in confidence spit back at me however innocently they were deposited. I believe I know who it is and they will be dealt with in time. At any rate as you can see working in an economically stressed environment is not fun.
Still I am hopeful about everything. There is always room for hope and hope is sometimes the only commodity that one can have. The Lord will provide for it is in him that I am granted all things as is promised in his word. So have you been to my youtube page? Non, well you best visit. It you will like it if only for the different subscriptions on my page. Lots of cute males, lots of good ideas, and lots of fun stuff.
Well I’ve naught else to say I just needed to get these thoughts out for that is of course what my blog is for. To speak my mind and heart. Be blessed and remember guyz get out and vote. Even if its for that McCain Creature go ahead and vote.
Well that's all for now mes zamis be blessed! Bissous!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I know I know it's old but still this is something lovely...It's descirbing something that has been happening as of late that i can't say... Don't worry guys you will be hearing from me tomorrow... I'm okay and all will be explained... Be blessed and "die" in the arms of your love tonight.....Bissous.
Monday, October 13, 2008
So last night was my friend's birthday and I was pretty drunk and being plenty goofy as you can see enjoy guyz. OH and I know I been gone for awhile but I promise very vey soon this week you all will hear from me and get some photos too.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
I loved La Bouche and thought they were pretty good. I used to dance to this song.
Gotta get up to get down. till love this song especially this mix.
I still dance to this song.
So here it is rounding out my music vidoe extravaganza issue of my blog sor something my top 10 fav dance songs! This one is so bad assed and I dig BM's voice on this song and I danced to it too, justl ike a cat. Well not really but I shook my ass to it though
I suppose this is my fall music postings I guess songs I like things I'm waiting for excitedly!!!
ANOTHER JAM FROM THE PCD!!!
JUST STAND UP for Cancer - Video 9/5/2008 - Donate now!!!! Carrie Underwood, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Rihanna, Fe
A great song
LOVE THIS SONG.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Been reading lately, some book called Ultraviolet, Nightmares & Dreamscapes, and People of the Raven all at once. Going well actually it's like having a book montage at your service all at once. Pretty cool good stories. Actually the books by Kathleen Gear and I want to say Thomas O Neal but I could be wrong, the Kathleen Gear lady part is not thaough. Their books on Native American Life, PreColumbian at that are awesome. The best so far the People of the Lake. A great novel and pretty educational. I love historical fiction it takes you to a world that was in a sense, you can learn alot. Especially when they are well researched.
Right now I am just chilling with Alex having pizza. The night is good and the beer is good. Peace guyz I will be back.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Seattle has been hot these last couple days and yet I ahve had cold. Bumpalump gave me his baby cold and it has kinda well made the week at work all thre so hellish. This weekend was a family reunion that my stepfather's family was having. I passed it up. I just didn't want to deal you know. Not that i don't love them I do, iunfact I saw a bucnh of cousins last week for brunch, but I am still working on me and well I dunno when it comes to my family in Portland I prefer distance. Alot of hurt has happened there you see and maybe in truth I am not as healed from that as I wish to be so prefer distance I mean if you must know.
1. "No muthafucka you're confused 'cause yo' ass is where yo' face should be and everytime you talk I smell shit!" -- Kyon Saucier
2. " Well fuck the both of you!"--- Kyon Saucier
3. " But I am a real boy I am! Well except that time when I did that whole drag gag for my friends in college but it was only once and it was a long time ago. You ass!" --Kyon Saucier
4. "No get that nasty fur away from me do you want my skin to chafe?! What the hell is that rabbit?"-- Kyon Saucier
5. "Well I call her Mystique."
" Why you call her that?"
" 'Cause everytime I see that broad it's a new person."-- Kyon Saucier and Anthony
6. "Stoip trying to live the champagne and caviar life honey. Well all know you aint nothin' but a cornbread and kool aid boi anyways!" --Kyon Saucier
Well okay I am out of things to say. Pray for our world and let's all hope that Russia's saber rattling war mongering stops before it engulfs all of Eastern Europe and the Cacauses. All of you be blessed, show love to you fellow men and mwomen and smile. 'Cause when you don't smile you don't just look mean, you look constipated. Okay adieu!
Salut Mes Zamis Sak Passe!
Enter my world for a second... What? Huh? Well yes there are Black People in the NW and yes we have a vibrant culture up here. I mean naw Seattle aint Atlanta or NYC or DC or Chicago or any other city with a huge Black Population, but it's my home and there are few places as beautiful... Not too mention in all of the NW Seattle and Tacoma have the highest Black Population. So come on enter the world of Kyon....Yon Yon Yon.... Sigh. I was trying to make an echo sound. Now look I I know I got some typos and things so be patient with me folkz.... Cause I get excited when I write... Okay there is no excuse 'cept that it's my page I do what I want! *smile*