Tuesday, October 10, 2006

So today is my 29 birthday and I feel wretched. I had some good news as I have a place to stay in a church which is loud, big and dark. There is an apartment there but I unfortunately am not able to get it, some female is living there. Just my luck which it is becoming more and more clear is horrible. I am so full of self hatred, rage, and doubt I could scream. All I keep hearing from people is empty platitudes. If that isn't enough I don't yet have a key to the church so I can't even come and go as I please and go out and have a drink or something like that! It's my birthday but it feels like mon jour de merde right now and I am HATE IT!!! I DESPISE THIS SITUATION AND I NEVER WILL GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!!!
How did it get to this point you may ask?
It is a long story and I do not want to get into it but neeedles to say I am exhausted, tired, and my eyes ache with tears which will not fall. I feel so hopeless and that is the feeling of today...Hopeless.

ON the flipside I went to the library today and got three books of which I will be giving you reviews of on this blog, the last of the Tree of Life Trilogy, The Last Orphan and some book set in Saudia Arabia that I can't recall, all of the fiction is international. Something about reading stuff by folks from other cultures...It makes you grow.

All of you out there have a blesed night and hey
Bon anniversaire a moi,Bon anniversaire a moi,Bon anniversaire a Kyon...Bon anniversaire a moi. I think this is the worst birthday I have ever had....

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Frist Post

The first post:
SO see everyone has these blogs and I dunno I thought it would be fun to have my own internet diary? I mean why not it might help me through all of my craziness and help me get further with my novel that is almost finished but that always seems to be caught on some stupid ass hanger called life issues. Aie aie aie...

Why is it that everyone else including the people who are evil and cruel and hurting folkz seem to be happier than me?
I swear it is true what David said in his lamentations to the Blessed Lord. "God why do the evil and wicked prosper?" he asked... I mean there are people who are so evil they giggled during the Passion of the Christ who are better off right now than I am!

Why do I work where I work?
Can I please Chere Dieu get another job!?! ____, you can catch me there Mon-Fri in the noontimes serving up burritos, tacos, chips, and stuff. The people I work with are cool most of the time but...I'm new to the job, not getting enough hours, and simply not really liking it. I get complaints because people say I'm snippy or rude or some other crap like that, and I'm not at least I don't think I am. I just don't understand how a grown adult of any race or gender can be in line for almost half an hour, (yes we are that busy), and still not know what they want! I swear to the Li Sante Grand Met, if some other idiot savant imbecile looks in my face with that overdone and overseen vacant glossy cow eyed expression and says:
BURRITO? to me one more time I will... Well I can't say...Who knows who'll read this.

Why can't I fall in love?
I'm not ugly, sometimes money is funny and I get stressed so the skin breaks out just a tad or maybe because of the job I have now I look like a vagrant (but honestly who dresses up to serve messy Mexi cuisine?) but a nigga knows he's beautiful. People tell me I am and I know I am. I'm intelligent, college educated, bilingual, well read, and generous at least when I'm in love to a degree. Plus if I am with someone I will treat him like a king. Maintenant pourquoi aie pourquoi can I not find un homme? Oh wait...I forgot... I am one of the Gay Men of African Descent that doesn't live in LA, Vegas, Miami, Houston, NYC, DC or Atlanta... I don't even live in Seattle...I live in Portland Oregon...

On the flip side why is it that I meet men who dig me but they either live out of state or they don't know if they totally want me or both?
Aie Kyon mo vle toi si beaucoup. Your smile is so wonderful, you're so sweet and sensitive, you are so cute, you are so smart, and we have good sex but....Hey listen boo when I'm here in Portland I love you and want you to be my man but when I leave town well...I mean... Here's another one:
I want to keep seeing you, and having sex with you but I'm not ready for a relationship I have issues even though I want you to be exclusive with me sexually and wait for my ass to come around...
The men I meet aie Mo Grand Met.

Now listen folkz I don' want you reading this thinking I'm some depressed muthafucka or anything like that but my luck has not been what it should be lately. Problemes, problemes, problemes...

I am at this moment officially couch surfing with a job mind you as I search for a place to live, my possesions are in storage. This morning into the noontime Sister Saffron and Brotha Pear helped me move. Even that was not with out it's difficulties and while I was there I found out some stuff about work difficulties, etc. etc.....
AND TO TOP it all off tomorrow is my birthday and I accidentally fucked up a paypal payment that my cousin sent me and I COULD SIMPLY SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS FOR JUST LI GRAND MET TO THROW ME A BONNNNEEEE!

That's me today in a nutshell. Today the Msieu Kyon Saucier is tired, cranky, irritable and ready to freak out, and yet somehow I know that God is still in control and he and only he is holding me together.

I feel better now.

Salut Mes Zamis Sak Passe!

Wassup Folkz this is me Kyon Saucier also known as Mr Kyon on A4A or Creole Elf on BGC.... Aww come on now like none of y'all are ever on those sites, yeah you are 'cause I've seen you... LOL!

Enter my world for a second... What? Huh? Well yes there are Black People in the NW and yes we have a vibrant culture up here. I mean naw Seattle aint Atlanta or NYC or DC or Chicago or any other city with a huge Black Population, but it's my home and there are few places as beautiful... Not too mention in all of the NW Seattle and Tacoma have the highest Black Population. So come on enter the world of Kyon....Yon Yon Yon.... Sigh. I was trying to make an echo sound. Now look I I know I got some typos and things so be patient with me folkz.... Cause I get excited when I write... Okay there is no excuse 'cept that it's my page I do what I want! *smile*




Yeah when I was younger I could've been considered a geek. Always my eyes fixed upon a world none could see. Always seeking to escape from the mundane things of this life.

But a geek I think of as dreamer, someone one who delights in things outside of the ordinary.

Just Me Again

Just Me Again
And why not? Dreams were not meant for the sleeping times

For the ordinary world need not be such a boring place. There's always more than enough room for the things that make one smile.

Wolf Rider

Wolf Rider
Bear Claw

Blood Elven Prince

Blood Elven Prince
Worlds within worlds

Drow Hunting Party

Drow Hunting Party
Dark Elven Elegance

Adieu mes zamis....

Adieu mes zamis....
May the light of Elves shine upon you....I know it's corny but this is my page!