Wednesday, August 25, 2010

So today I had a meeting with my case manager and we talked about insurance and medical forms and wiavers and copnsent forms and all kinds of stuff and it was actually really good. Number one it was good becaue case managing will mostl ikely be part of a career I choose and I am seeing it in action albeit it is on my behalf. Also it means that I am still staying on top of this thing. So in that respect all is well. I ma waiting on a check that should've been here yesterday is not yet here. It better be here today. I need money I've got to go grocery shopping and I think I'm going to buy a pair of clippers too. I mean I shave my head bald and why szreally should I pay people to do what I capable of doing. Plus I have started like doing a little body scaping of my chest area and I dunno I like it so yeah...Imma just get some clippers. I am slowly coming to realize more and morethatI will be aiight. I have alot of support in the works and I have folkz around me who care so I mma be okay. At any rate photos of me! Because I am vain! Okay. Be blessed and peace y'all Adieu!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Life goes by slowly these days, well not really but perhaps colored by my experience of adjustment to my house in virignie, I am thinking that I am actually living life more and to the fullest. I experience it more than I hever think I have. So every moment is now trully precious. On one hand that's cool and on the other hand it isn't soo kool. I would rather not have this new experience to navigate. Still I am well and health is good so I am not complaining and I am adjusting, if that can be said as well as I can to this new thing. Even if I hate it. As for Gogo...Well The last thing I heard from him was him asking me never to speak to our mutual friend again....It was perhaps a lie, but I don't care now. He has taken everything tfrom me that he could and I see him now for what he chooses to be...And I have cut off communication from him. It's a hard thing all this because I feel like I have all this rage and anger and unsaid things that I want to just lash at him with but in the end I beleive it is for the best. It does no good and it certainly won't change things or benefit anyone. Not even me. Forgiveness it is not an weasy thing to choose or to walk in but once you do so, you just do it. Nuff said.
I have a new phone an I like it. First of all it does not look so ancient, secondly the plan is much cheaper than before and I like it. It's a cheap Blackberri but whatever when it comes to ophones I'm not all gadgety like that. Of course though it's great to be reconnected and slowly but surely everything the cancerworm has taken is being resotred to me. God has blessed me so much during this time and it is to him that I have found most of my peace and refuge.
Since I ahve been back I have been kinda dating. Though I don't have a boyfirend per se as much as I have suitors. One of them Mr. W
is an old piece and we are enjoying each other's company at the moment. The other is Trumph. And finally there is Soldat who lives in MO, right now but who has my attn. If for no other reason than he is not from this part of the country and plus he is charming thus far. But no serious commitments yet. I am simply not ready for that, the only person I would be ready for that would be Trumph and he still needs to be single or so he says but as of late who knows.
The world tells me still that he loves me and is still in love with me and he shows me such in little ways... I have forgiven him for the past and I could and would be willing to try it again. After all he told me we technically are not together but untechnically we are. I have no idea what that tmeans but somehow he is staking some claim to me still.
I am sinply enjoying mu summer, went to a lil BBQ this weekend, hung out with MR. W, went to Twisted in Everett and just enjoyed life. Oh an last night I kikced it hard. I have to work on my alcohol intake by the way. I can't be doing too much otherwise I will hurt myself. But these days I feel fine. Still I suppose the better care I take the better I will be. OH it's just so frustrating at tiems to have to deal with this. It's like it goes away when I don't thin about it but it is so important I can't just ignore it or wish it away and it just surfaces as an issue at the worst times!! LIKE ALWAYS! ANd it is in those moment when my forgivnemss is tested and when I want to lash out and hurt others. ANd I can't, because I know how wrong it would be to do...SO I don't.
As usual I am what I am just a bubbling caudron of emotions. PH BTW JOMO MY MOTHER KNOWS NOW! Blab nothing else. Just had to let you know so you didn't do it at some inoppurtune time. So here I am. I am doing well and I living and growing. And I beleive when all is said and done I will be okay.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I shall have a nice post for you guys tomorrow, as I ahve decided that someone may be albe to learn from me as I go through this...Process. So there ya go talk to y'all on the morrow. On the other hand who says I can't talk now. The week has been so far cool. New place is nice, I like it. Well naw lemme just give y'all all an update tomorrow hopefully I can do it online via a web cam than via the written.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

An explanstion of my abscence, the poem I wrote, and the challenges I am currently facing in my life. Love all of you. PAIX et DEUCES!!!

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Window Seat Gay Parody

Love this!
So You Say You Love ME?

The next man who says he loves me will not recieve any applause.
I will not jump for joy inside or out,
There will no be shouts of triumph or tears of happieness shining like diamonds as they slide down cafe chocolat cheeks.
Simply I will tell him to stop saying it to me.
For in my experience to many of you brothas have used to that phrase as a way of
ETC. Too many blanks and not enough time to tell it all.
The next man who does me wrong will not get the chance to say sorry. There will be no second chance, no one more tries, no baby I never meant to hurt you, no please don't go.
For I am tired of feeling guilty when I am never the one in the wrong
Tired of having to justify why I am hurt,
Why I feel like forgiveness though it shall come does not happen immediately and if you are trully repentant than you would stop doing your bullshit!
Nope I will just get gone because like Blu said I would rather sleep in the middle.
The next man who hits me should be sure he does not lay down next to me after he does or continue being up in my sphere, because I will catch you slipping at some point and I am frankly quit sick of letting the Lord have vengence. Why should he get all the fun?
The next man who brings me flowers will see not a trace of pleasure.
The next man who wants me to have an all nite convo via the telephone will be sore when I tell him it's been an hour and I have shit to do.
Love's trappings are things I no longer find amusing,
Instead of warming they break my heart...Like you did.
And you did.
And you
And you
And you over there, and you, and yes niggah you too.
See the man that infected me with HIV told me heloved me, the man that hit me told me loved me, the man that bought me everything and gave me the world then dumped me and went back to his ex told me he loved me, the man that used me for everything he could drain told me he loved me, the man cast me out of our home told me he loved me....
So please,
Keep it to yourself if you catch feelings.
Let me say it first.
Or better yet just leave me be because these sdays I hate love.
I hate it
Detest it
Abhor it.
And yet in the same breath I want it more than I can allow myself to say....

Kyon Saucier

Salut Mes Zamis Sak Passe!

Wassup Folkz this is me Kyon Saucier also known as Mr Kyon on A4A or Creole Elf on BGC.... Aww come on now like none of y'all are ever on those sites, yeah you are 'cause I've seen you... LOL!

Enter my world for a second... What? Huh? Well yes there are Black People in the NW and yes we have a vibrant culture up here. I mean naw Seattle aint Atlanta or NYC or DC or Chicago or any other city with a huge Black Population, but it's my home and there are few places as beautiful... Not too mention in all of the NW Seattle and Tacoma have the highest Black Population. So come on enter the world of Kyon....Yon Yon Yon.... Sigh. I was trying to make an echo sound. Now look I I know I got some typos and things so be patient with me folkz.... Cause I get excited when I write... Okay there is no excuse 'cept that it's my page I do what I want! *smile*




Yeah when I was younger I could've been considered a geek. Always my eyes fixed upon a world none could see. Always seeking to escape from the mundane things of this life.

But a geek I think of as dreamer, someone one who delights in things outside of the ordinary.

Just Me Again

Just Me Again
And why not? Dreams were not meant for the sleeping times

For the ordinary world need not be such a boring place. There's always more than enough room for the things that make one smile.

Wolf Rider

Wolf Rider
Bear Claw

Blood Elven Prince

Blood Elven Prince
Worlds within worlds

Drow Hunting Party

Drow Hunting Party
Dark Elven Elegance

Adieu mes zamis....

Adieu mes zamis....
May the light of Elves shine upon you....I know it's corny but this is my page!