So it is naother day here at POCAAN and they grant is speeding along.Daily I get work done on the thing and there is no reason to think we will not be finished by the April 3, 2009 date we are wanting. Oh and hte last grant I worked on them with for the Pride Foundation seems to have garnered some attention and appears at least to be in the running. Which is Kudos for me so I feel kinda like hey this is the shit. Oh and hey my uneployment benefits are finally starting. Can I just say though that I deteest no more so than any other time in my life bureaucracy!? Nothing is more draining then having to deal with these agencies for the most basic of neccesities. And they are not easy either. I am jumping all kinds of hoops and crap it is really ridiculous. I'm like what for real my taxes pay for this just fucking give it to without all this lip and shit! It's just fucking stupid.

Last night I went to Ken;s house where Viking, Viking is Ken's pet White Troll. Well okay not his pet White Troll, his pet White Orc...Viking looks like an Orc but he is a kool guy. No not an Orc...Viking is Grimlock. Okay so he is Grimlock but a nice one, even though he has thing for nme. I know right always the scaries... Anywho I hung with Viking and Kenn and just laughed, drank beer, and had some herbal refreshement, a nice dinner, followed by more laughter. Oh and I sang too. We were listening to all my music and we just had fun.

Before that I hung with Javiav and Tonton MereSista, which was kool had a couple drinks and some discussion. Nothing inflammatory or anything like that just cool times. Now here I am blogging killing time waiting for the next part of the grant to be done. Little by little though things are begining to change. For the better for me. Slowly it as if tghe viels of gloom from winter are lifting and I feel hope in the air. Or maybe that is my wishful thinking. But hey is hope is better by far than hopelessness. I will choose the hope.

In the meantime 2 males have ruined my butt! No it souds funny but it's not. OS lately I have been having this burning pain in my ass around the hole and I'm like it is not a hemorrhoid cuase it just wasn't and it's not. Javiav explained to me after I told him symptoms today that I had a tear. I'd have to put like ointments and stuff on it and I couldn't use it for a moth. Use like sexually 'cause I am versatile and sometimes I need to be well... You get the idea. So it kind of sucks and my butt hurts and I like mean it really hurts and then I am thinking who could've caused such a tear and I know who it is. There are 2 of them and both of them are huge and both told me even though I said it hurts! Give me some time! that it was all good and just take it take it take it! Which I did. And now my ass has a cut/tear next to my hole which makes everything from sitting, to wearing underwear, to farting, to taking a shit, to cleaning my shit, to even taking a bath or shower fucking miserable.

SO I say all this to say next time a guy who is really big is about giddy up in you, and you are not sure you can take it then just don't! Do not let them pressure. I mean yeah you get an orgasm but you also get this pain which stays with you and when you like tell the male who gave you that tear, or at least helped contribute to it... Then they laugh at you. Like this certain male did. I told he should buy something since I am pain beacause of his pleasure little merde! Ahh bien.

On the flipside though this gives me a chance to further imporve upon my top technique which is pretty damn good and also lets me find a way to stop having dudes always grabbing or smacking my butt because I can all act like I am so hurt and shit! Which might be fun cause I love a good bit of drama. Don't you love a bit of drama precious? Course ya do luv, course ya do!

I dunno all in all life is okay. I am happy, I feel good, and I am doing goodthings. Oh well I did something not so nice. I laughed at someone in Chruch who couldn't sing but it was not my fault. No it was not. I tried to hold back the giggles and I even covered up my face with my coat but it was just not enough. I'm like if you sound funny you shouldn't do solos! And even though I love Sister Pomegranate alot well she sounds better blending in the choir than leading it. Or singing solos. It made me giggle. I could not help it and I laughed.

Oh and Henry the 8th tried to mind fuck me the day before and I was like don't be doing that but I think he and Anne Elizabeth are staying together. Call me crazy it is just something I feel in my heart. Which is fine but I no longer wish to hear about such foolishness. Dammit if he is that bad this early be rid of the male. What's the loss? I dunno some of my friends are dumbasses and they need the Lord. Well I don't have much else to say. Hope all of you are well and be blessed.