Friday, January 29, 2010

Salut mes amis...I am feeling at this moment depressed. My money situation this month has been extremely difficult, I had to ask the Erlking to borrow some cash and I dunno I feel bad about that... I actually lost some money. Alot of it I know can you bleive that. I am a klutz and half. That and well I am trying to give him some space because we said we would take things slower and then I just lately have been feeling like...Well okay so I was speaking with a classmate yesterday and he was just like you know doesn't it seem like since we got into school stuff has just gotten so much harder... And I agreed with him. Don't get me wrong I am well aware of the blessings I've been given with this opp...And I do not knock that at all. Mais Mon Dieu this has been a very difficult experience at times. I hate being broke all the time! I hate that I do not yet have a job because if I start working I will totally jeopordize my schooling! I am tired of being that guy who rarely has anything in his pockets. It makes me feel less of un homme. I wish the Erlking was here to just hold me now. And he is not and I feel like crying right now....Aie aie aie.
It just seems like for the right steps forward I take like what 20 backwards. And I feel like that character Corey in the Ski Trip "Every Gay Man's Nightmare"! Yet I have great friends, I have people in my life that I know love me even when I am unlovable, muy parents are all living, I am not ill or sick with naything.... I am survivor of so many things and it could be worse.
I could be living in Port au Prince or Logoane or Jacmel right now. I could be homeless or living in a war zone or a really bad ghetto environment and not the so so one I live in here in Seattle. Still I am just having a moment when I am feeling hopeless. I mean even my problems though perhaps not so great when compared to others are still for me significant at this moment. And I know this will not be forever but Dieu it feels like it. Am I whining because that is not my intent and usually on here I attempt to focus on the positive but this month has seemed like torture for me. I just feel crazy sometimes....
I know I kinda look crazy there don't I with the glowing eyes and all.
I want to be economically secure and working I want it all done right now, this schooling I want to stop being this poverty stricken student. Because for real it does not feel me with pride all the time...I am not having a pity party I am just feeling not so great right now.... Yet I know thiws too shall pass... I just hope it passes soon.

1 comment:

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Salut Mes Zamis Sak Passe!

Wassup Folkz this is me Kyon Saucier also known as Mr Kyon on A4A or Creole Elf on BGC.... Aww come on now like none of y'all are ever on those sites, yeah you are 'cause I've seen you... LOL!

Enter my world for a second... What? Huh? Well yes there are Black People in the NW and yes we have a vibrant culture up here. I mean naw Seattle aint Atlanta or NYC or DC or Chicago or any other city with a huge Black Population, but it's my home and there are few places as beautiful... Not too mention in all of the NW Seattle and Tacoma have the highest Black Population. So come on enter the world of Kyon....Yon Yon Yon.... Sigh. I was trying to make an echo sound. Now look I I know I got some typos and things so be patient with me folkz.... Cause I get excited when I write... Okay there is no excuse 'cept that it's my page I do what I want! *smile*




Yeah when I was younger I could've been considered a geek. Always my eyes fixed upon a world none could see. Always seeking to escape from the mundane things of this life.

But a geek I think of as dreamer, someone one who delights in things outside of the ordinary.

Just Me Again

Just Me Again
And why not? Dreams were not meant for the sleeping times

For the ordinary world need not be such a boring place. There's always more than enough room for the things that make one smile.

Wolf Rider

Wolf Rider
Bear Claw

Blood Elven Prince

Blood Elven Prince
Worlds within worlds

Drow Hunting Party

Drow Hunting Party
Dark Elven Elegance

Adieu mes zamis....

Adieu mes zamis....
May the light of Elves shine upon you....I know it's corny but this is my page!