Stress stress stress, i have no money, struggling to pay rent, tests and papers abounding...Oh and of course to complicate it all is that HOUSE IN VIRGINIE that I own. Right how very lovely. Oh and it is raining again. It is raining all the time now and deluges... Bien sur j'habite a Seattle mais vraiment, sky give it a rest. And I am as of late very tried. So tired. Not a sick people or person tired just tired. Like I am running with everything to keep up. And in some ways I am but...I am tired lately.
My Halloween was fun and uneventful as in nothing fucked up or dangerous took place and of course I did not put myself into positions where anything messed up would happen so that was kool. I was Captain Hilfiger, I put on a plastic blue mask and a Tommy Hilfiger running suit and there I was. Mr. W and I had a nice time. That night. My Wyldfae was there, drunk as usual and running about. I mean what else right? Still that never stopped me from dancing the night away. Which I did. I also insulted alot of White Gay Guyz, because well they were annoying me and sometimes I do like to put them in their place. I know I am a piece of work. Mr. W. is late again. Sigh

So last night I dreamt of Gogo.... It was nightmare. I don't know why either because I certainly was not thinking of him but I had a nightmare about him coming to me and trying to I don't know... It wasn't anything sexual or violent it was just his presence was extremely unsettling. Mr. W said I cried out in my sleep. I think I did. The dream felt too real.

Perhaps it is just a winter dream that is coming my way and I just have to deal. Once again it is that time of year and still I almost dread it and adore it at the same time. I want this wretched and horrid year to end. I am so sick of everything that has taken place this year. This has been like a year of lament for me. It has been just hard. Yet I am still here. a little bruised and battered but I am still here.And I suppose I am just so grateful even just for that.

VIVE KYON!!!! And now I am smiling.