Tuesday, August 03, 2010

So You Say You Love ME?

The next man who says he loves me will not recieve any applause.
I will not jump for joy inside or out,
There will no be shouts of triumph or tears of happieness shining like diamonds as they slide down cafe chocolat cheeks.
Simply I will tell him to stop saying it to me.
For in my experience to many of you brothas have used to that phrase as a way of
DECEIVING
PACIFYING
USING
SEXING ME JUST FO' SEX
ETC. Too many blanks and not enough time to tell it all.
The next man who does me wrong will not get the chance to say sorry. There will be no second chance, no one more tries, no baby I never meant to hurt you, no please don't go.
For I am tired of feeling guilty when I am never the one in the wrong
Tired of having to justify why I am hurt,
Why I feel like forgiveness though it shall come does not happen immediately and if you are trully repentant than you would stop doing your bullshit!
Nope I will just get gone because like Blu said I would rather sleep in the middle.
The next man who hits me should be sure he does not lay down next to me after he does or continue being up in my sphere, because I will catch you slipping at some point and I am frankly quit sick of letting the Lord have vengence. Why should he get all the fun?
The next man who brings me flowers will see not a trace of pleasure.
The next man who wants me to have an all nite convo via the telephone will be sore when I tell him it's been an hour and I have shit to do.
Love's trappings are things I no longer find amusing,
Instead of warming they break my heart...Like you did.
And you did.
And you
And you
And you over there, and you, and yes niggah you too.
See the man that infected me with HIV told me heloved me, the man that hit me told me loved me, the man that bought me everything and gave me the world then dumped me and went back to his ex told me he loved me, the man that used me for everything he could drain told me he loved me, the man cast me out of our home told me he loved me....
So please,
Keep it to yourself if you catch feelings.
Let me say it first.
Or better yet just leave me be because these sdays I hate love.
I hate it
Detest it
Abhor it.
And yet in the same breath I want it more than I can allow myself to say....

Kyon Saucier

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

o dear one. my heart aches for you. with you. know that we love you and keep you in our prayers always. - r

Salut Mes Zamis Sak Passe!

Wassup Folkz this is me Kyon Saucier also known as Mr Kyon on A4A or Creole Elf on BGC.... Aww come on now like none of y'all are ever on those sites, yeah you are 'cause I've seen you... LOL!

Enter my world for a second... What? Huh? Well yes there are Black People in the NW and yes we have a vibrant culture up here. I mean naw Seattle aint Atlanta or NYC or DC or Chicago or any other city with a huge Black Population, but it's my home and there are few places as beautiful... Not too mention in all of the NW Seattle and Tacoma have the highest Black Population. So come on enter the world of Kyon....Yon Yon Yon.... Sigh. I was trying to make an echo sound. Now look I I know I got some typos and things so be patient with me folkz.... Cause I get excited when I write... Okay there is no excuse 'cept that it's my page I do what I want! *smile*


C'EST MOI! IT'S ME!

C'EST MOI!  IT'S ME!
Sak Passe? WAZZUUUUUPPPPP!

Bishop

Bishop
Yeah when I was younger I could've been considered a geek. Always my eyes fixed upon a world none could see. Always seeking to escape from the mundane things of this life.

But a geek I think of as dreamer, someone one who delights in things outside of the ordinary.

Just Me Again

Just Me Again
And why not? Dreams were not meant for the sleeping times

For the ordinary world need not be such a boring place. There's always more than enough room for the things that make one smile.

Wolf Rider

Wolf Rider
Bear Claw

Blood Elven Prince

Blood Elven Prince
Worlds within worlds

Drow Hunting Party

Drow Hunting Party
Dark Elven Elegance

Adieu mes zamis....

Adieu mes zamis....
May the light of Elves shine upon you....I know it's corny but this is my page!