I am sitting here at Lifelong AIDS Alliance waiting for an appt. I will have 2/3rds of my rent paid on the morrow. I am getting some money for the appt I am in and I am still awaiting word on a job that will help me continue going to school. It's a typical gray and rainy day in Seattle. Yesterday I had a nice time with Generalissimo Coop. He is a pretty handsome male from back east and he occasionally has army business here in the Seattle area so we get together. He is not a kind man he is as he says a self proclaimed asshole but he has never treated me in any way that I can honestly say is disrespectful. And he is a gentle lover at least and so he took me out to eat. We went to BJs and it was aiight but I don't think realy worth it. I mean the food was good but the calzones we ordered left something to be desired. They simply were not big enough. I like GC. he is a nice guy even under all that tough exterior.
Today after I am done I am supposed to see Mr. W...I am not sure what we will do today but I hope it will be fun. Last evening was pleasant since it is now the commencement de la semaine du Mardi Gras. I know every Creole's favorite holiday apres Noel. I got 3 bead rings and I didn't have to do anything nasty for them. There was a big dick contest and I thought about entering but I decided against it. Somethings I have no desire to do anymore. I'm a little too old for that now.. Well not really I just didn't feel like being exhibitionistical la nuit dernier. And yes I know exhibitionistical is not a word. I get it.
Life is still good, a struggle but good. I have papers coming out my ears and so many ideas floating about in my mind. I feel really good about stuff though. My health is still good and holding and for that I most grateful.
Now as of late if I may share I have been having the strangest dreams. Not bad ones just strange ones and it is kinda funny because they are basically all themed males various males that maybe I knda have thing for and many of them I really do not know fighting over me. It is kinda gratifying in a way I mean who doesn't want to be fought over. I do sometimes if I am being really honest. But at any rate I wonder what the dreams mean. Is there some new male on my horizon.... Well if there is may he not come for at least 1 year. I need to stay single. I am enjoying being single. I suppose now adays I am really abhoring the tug of reins. Males all of the men I have ever been with even Mr. W in some way seek to have mastery over me.
And I do not want men to have mastery over me I want them to partener with me, don't get me wrong I do not mind at times being submissive in a relationship but I will not walk behind my man for his own sake. Nor will I have some male commanding me about as if I am their personal concubine. I have been that man once before and the situation was not only triesome but hazardous for me.
So that is not what I want. I am not at all sure I want a man to be honest right now, I mean I know I don't but it is nice to have someone around. For now Trumph and Mr. W are enough for me. I like things the way they are. That is enough. Well that is all for now may all of you guys be blessed. Adieu mes zamis.....