I am not sure exactly what it is but something about the end of the summer makes me sad. Even a summer as tumultuos as this one has been for me. I can think of worse things I have experienced in my life but this summer has been one that has really tested me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically with all that has gone on. Some of which has been because of the choices I made for good or ill I now deal with the consequences. First off my health is great. Infact people have been saying I look really good andI feel pretty good, which I find ironic but okay I aint trying to rock that boat at all. Life has been interesting lately, home is okay, I'm loving my big oom so much more than the last hovel I was trapped in, morel ike a hole really. Well I kinda don't like one of my rommies, he's a passive agressive lil bitch but hey what do ya do. Mais vraiment li se un bete idiot, tu konne?
I have a new freidn at the house a kitten named Leo. He is actually very cute even if he does cry all the time. He likes to curl up nmext to me on the chair in the apartment and sleep next to me, he lets me pet him and he is always trying to get up in my room. SO is his mother Jade. They find me bed to be most comfortable. I don't want the fleas I suspect they have in my bed though. I really didn't have a pet growing up so this is kool however I am a lil worried at time about toxiplasmoids? So I suppose I shall have to ask my dokte about that. I am about to start school and also hoepfully get a job because well unemployment does not last forever.
I am ready to work again at a crappy job to help further my goald since this job this time really will just be a means to an end, and this time it really will be. In the meantime I am finding people to be very supportive of me and my new condition and to be honest it is as if for the first time I am really really loving life. I used to say things like God I hate my life. I used to say that alot but now I don't. I mean I have always known I am mortal, that is was nevera question of if I would die but merely when, however this makes my mortalilty seem so much more pressing and not in a bad way, just in way that says hey appreciate this day. Appreciate this breath, savor this experience. And I am. This is not to say in anyway that my life is perfect or anything or that i am perfect it just that I feel more grateful about things and in some ways less willing to deal with the dumb shit, but also not really sweating the small shit either. I dunno perhaps it also maturing. My 33rd birthday will be here soon and I really want to celebrate but I dunno know how. I dunno I wanna have a big party but reality says I dunno how that will happen. So probably I will just maybe celebrate by myself. Because I have come this far and why the hell not!!!
Also a certain person is coming to see me next month and I can't wait fopr that eityher. And this year before it ends I am going to go somewhere that I want to go,. For real! Bien c'est tous mes zamis, soyez bon! Adieu!