Monday, April 05, 2010

Well well well another day, another week begginning... Aie and there has been so much going on sincethe last post. So my Bajun Grandmother, really my stepfather's ,other but my Gramm just the same is dying... And I have changed. it is very hard to watch someone you love on their deathbed. It is infact a horror and one that I pray none of you have to endure but one that I know all of you will at some point. So last week I had to return to Portland to sit with her for awhile and to hear any last words she had for me, and to say my goodbyes....She saw me and was aglad though she did ask me to promise her I made to heaven. I told her I would and she asked how I would do that, referring to my sexuality...I shurgged it off, I am not about to get into it with someone on their deathbed. I simply said:
"I came here didn't I? I am seeing you now here and I will see you then there." I cried and took her hand...She looks like a corpse with a sluggish mind... Not a zombi but certainly not my Gram Lucille "Red" Greenidge. It was difficult too watch. I returned on Saturday Night to Seattle changed. That is all I can say I am not the same person. I am different. Perhaps it was witnessing how precious life is as I was watching my Gram going thru the process of leaving it but I am changed.

I also while I was in Portland saw Demo which was great to connect with my Best Friend and I had a blast with him, htough of course the meetings were tinged with sadness it was still good to stay with him and see him. I also got to see my cousin Jomo and his wife Becca and that was awesome. They are a wonderfully spirited couple and I enjoyed hanging with them.

I returned on Sat night and went to services en Dimance pou Pacques. That wasn't a goopd day. I cried alot... I've been crying alot. For the love I have lost with the Erlking and Trumph, for Gram's eventual and all too soon death and all the suffering she is going thru....I just said to Trumph, why is it that everyone I ever love always leaves me or takes their love from me? Why do I always feel sometimes so alone, so reaching for strands of affection. Why can nothing ever be permanent...Why does not anyone stay? And do you know what? For the first time in a long time on that rainy Pacques, sitting beside me in eglise, Trumph took my hand and he hald me, he let me put my head on his shoulder, and he soothjed my fears and my sorrows and he was just available. and I then knew that he still loved me... Well I suppose I ahve known it for ahwile but this was a Trumph of old... Not so old but of old...And sooo that is to be noted...

At any rate spent thae last couple of days with Jack Frost and the Troll Major, and then last night Trumph came by Jack Frost's and I finally went home. We went out ot Red Robin for dinner on the waterfront and then back to my place and well... I was comforted.

Of course with all of this emotional upheaval they were good things that came to pass. I made the Dean's list again and my new classes just started andthey are progressing well. Well I have to mail off a progress report to the government to keep my schooling going. Keep the Greenidge Family in prayer, keep me in prayer so that I just continue to do what I am doing. Which for the time being is okay.

Oh and the last bit of news my brother and his girlfriend are expecting a little person which will make me that little person's oncle. Yes out of all the pain and heartache that is the best peice of news I ahve heard in a great while. Be blessed all of you....

I feel changed in a way that I was not before I ahve seen death creeping across Gram's body like a python of darkness, slowly constricting her. She displayed some of the dath dementia. It was horrible.


rebecca said...

beautiful. love the end, about t/a's baby on the way...what life in the midst of end of life. it's all a beautiful circle and we are blessed to get to live it daily albeit difficult. was SO glad to see you and finally get some face time with you. you are lovely. loved. please come again soon!

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Salut Mes Zamis Sak Passe!

Wassup Folkz this is me Kyon Saucier also known as Mr Kyon on A4A or Creole Elf on BGC.... Aww come on now like none of y'all are ever on those sites, yeah you are 'cause I've seen you... LOL!

Enter my world for a second... What? Huh? Well yes there are Black People in the NW and yes we have a vibrant culture up here. I mean naw Seattle aint Atlanta or NYC or DC or Chicago or any other city with a huge Black Population, but it's my home and there are few places as beautiful... Not too mention in all of the NW Seattle and Tacoma have the highest Black Population. So come on enter the world of Kyon....Yon Yon Yon.... Sigh. I was trying to make an echo sound. Now look I I know I got some typos and things so be patient with me folkz.... Cause I get excited when I write... Okay there is no excuse 'cept that it's my page I do what I want! *smile*




Yeah when I was younger I could've been considered a geek. Always my eyes fixed upon a world none could see. Always seeking to escape from the mundane things of this life.

But a geek I think of as dreamer, someone one who delights in things outside of the ordinary.

Just Me Again

Just Me Again
And why not? Dreams were not meant for the sleeping times

For the ordinary world need not be such a boring place. There's always more than enough room for the things that make one smile.

Wolf Rider

Wolf Rider
Bear Claw

Blood Elven Prince

Blood Elven Prince
Worlds within worlds

Drow Hunting Party

Drow Hunting Party
Dark Elven Elegance

Adieu mes zamis....

Adieu mes zamis....
May the light of Elves shine upon you....I know it's corny but this is my page!