Well here I am again another day of struggle and life how lovely it is... Aie pardon moi mes zamis, bonjour... Ou actuellment bon apres midi. Je suis fatiguee maintenant, c'etait un long jour. At any rate wassup guys I am blogging again. I have been a lil lazy with that for that I apologize. But at any rate I am well. I had to switch my case manager over, and hopefully I have money coming that will help my economic situation which like most everyone I know or have some acquaintance with is dire. School is wonderful though, I made the Dean's list again and this quarter while promising to busy is so far off to a good start.

Health

Well I have decided to go on meds. I believe that it will be helpful for me and keep me okay. I don't have to go there but I have decided to do that. Other than I am okay... For now, knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, and pray... Mentally I am okay. I have good days and then I have some days when I could just well... You can guess but I am okay I am blessed and I am happy. My health is aiight and for that I am most grateful.

School

SO I decided I will pursue this bachelor's program here because I don't have one so I have till late April to get that done and I will. Slowly but surely my life is becoming via education the life I want. And when it does fuck all the naysayers and haters... The greatest revenge on those who told me I could never, who doubted me, who withheld their aid is to simply be successful and each step I take draws me closer to that end. So yay for Kyon!!!

Amour

Quoi? What is that? It is going to take a really great and understanding man to sweep me off my feet at this point. And while I have friends that is all I want. Friends, not looking for a man. I am undergoing a transformation and when that is done then yes but not at this juncture. Not until I am at least done with this first round of schooling and getting a job in the field.

Books
So I have been reading a bunch lately and have some good books for you guys if you are interested.

I just finished:

Darfur Ambiguous Genocide by Gerard Prunier, good book for those who want to understand the current situation in Darfur and the Sudan at large. I learned from this one.

Kwame Nkrumah The Political Kingdom in the Third World by David Rooney. Reading this now, a very interesting and 3 dimensional view of Kwame Nkrumah Ghana's first President and Independence Leader. Learning from this one.

The Translator A Tribesman's Memoir of Darfur by Daoud Hari. A Genocide narrative of the situation in Darfur. Very good just started this and I can only say it is harrowing. Daoud's story is one that every human should read and most especially if you are someone of African Descent.

Worse Than War: Genocide, Eliminationism, and the Ongoing Assault on Humanity by Daniel Jonah Goldhagen. This book was excellent. It spoke basically about genocide and elimitionationism and what exactly we as ordinary people can do about it and what the international community should be doing. Not only did I learn a great deal from this book but it changed my life and my views of international and geopolitics.

Indian Summer: The Secret History of the End of an Empire by Alex Von Tunzelmann. An excellent book about India's Independence and the creation of Pakistan. I learned a great deal of knowledge from this book and I have to say it is one of the best books one could read on the subject of modern India and Pakistan, especially as a way of getting some real foundation on this history of those countries.

So get out there and read a book. Or at least one of the ones I have suggested it will stimulate your mind.

Money

I need it you got any. I have been job hunting and wondering how that will go hopefully it will go well cause I need a job. So we will see please continue to pray for me that I find something that will be compatible with my school schedule.

Overall life is challenging but I am enjoying it and I am doing my best. It is all I can do. Are you? Remember to show love to all those who need it and even those you think don't deserve it and have a wonderful week folkz. Until we meet again, a tout alors! Adieu mes zamis!

I am sitting here at Lifelong AIDS Alliance waiting for an appt. I will have 2/3rds of my rent paid on the morrow. I am getting some money for the appt I am in and I am still awaiting word on a job that will help me continue going to school. It's a typical gray and rainy day in Seattle. Yesterday I had a nice time with Generalissimo Coop. He is a pretty handsome male from back east and he occasionally has army business here in the Seattle area so we get together. He is not a kind man he is as he says a self proclaimed asshole but he has never treated me in any way that I can honestly say is disrespectful. And he is a gentle lover at least and so he took me out to eat. We went to BJs and it was aiight but I don't think realy worth it. I mean the food was good but the calzones we ordered left something to be desired. They simply were not big enough. I like GC. he is a nice guy even under all that tough exterior.
Today after I am done I am supposed to see Mr. W...I am not sure what we will do today but I hope it will be fun. Last evening was pleasant since it is now the commencement de la semaine du Mardi Gras. I know every Creole's favorite holiday apres Noel. I got 3 bead rings and I didn't have to do anything nasty for them. There was a big dick contest and I thought about entering but I decided against it. Somethings I have no desire to do anymore. I'm a little too old for that now.. Well not really I just didn't feel like being exhibitionistical la nuit dernier. And yes I know exhibitionistical is not a word. I get it.
Life is still good, a struggle but good. I have papers coming out my ears and so many ideas floating about in my mind. I feel really good about stuff though. My health is still good and holding and for that I most grateful.
Now as of late if I may share I have been having the strangest dreams. Not bad ones just strange ones and it is kinda funny because they are basically all themed males various males that maybe I knda have thing for and many of them I really do not know fighting over me. It is kinda gratifying in a way I mean who doesn't want to be fought over. I do sometimes if I am being really honest. But at any rate I wonder what the dreams mean. Is there some new male on my horizon.... Well if there is may he not come for at least 1 year. I need to stay single. I am enjoying being single. I suppose now adays I am really abhoring the tug of reins. Males all of the men I have ever been with even Mr. W in some way seek to have mastery over me.
And I do not want men to have mastery over me I want them to partener with me, don't get me wrong I do not mind at times being submissive in a relationship but I will not walk behind my man for his own sake. Nor will I have some male commanding me about as if I am their personal concubine. I have been that man once before and the situation was not only triesome but hazardous for me.
So that is not what I want. I am not at all sure I want a man to be honest right now, I mean I know I don't but it is nice to have someone around. For now Trumph and Mr. W are enough for me. I like things the way they are. That is enough. Well that is all for now may all of you guys be blessed. Adieu mes zamis.....

I am doing homework, listening to music on FB and just doing. Rent will be due soon and I have not yet found a job but I am going to get some rental assistance which is good. Plus I saw an employment specialist at school who is going to help me revamp my resume and start doing work hopefully in the SHS social human services field. Finally my dreams of a career are taking off.
Il niege in Seattle, lightly may le Bon Dieu be praised not like the weather they are getting elsewhere. Of course the Seattlelites are racing about as if it is the coming of the apocalypse but what more can one of expect of them. This is the land of rain not frozen falling water. School is good but my schedule is crazy and busy. I have registered for all of my classes and well I'm on the wait list for one but I am only 2 places down so I believe I will get in. I am excited and nervous, because all of this is starting to come together in some strange way and I see the hand of God in all of it. All of the struggles I have shared on this blog, my various males, my breakup with Trumph, loosing my job, my drug issues, my hopes, my getting a House In Virginia all of the tragedies and triumphs are beginning to make sense and the wider picture that I could not see is now crystallizing before my eyes. Et aie mon Grand Met, I am so grateful to you. So very grateful. Still there is work to be done and I am doing it. Yet for the first time in a really long time I am so proud of myself.
I feel that I am right where I need to be and that is something to be appreciated. I learning more and more day by day and I just feel like I have not lived since the last summer I spent in Portland in the presence of evil. I have come out of it a much better man.
Right now I live on Capitol Hill with a brother and sister and things are good. The sister had her foot amputated. And oh how i am learning to be not only grateful for all of my limbs but I am learning patience and how to be a better servant. It just seems that my whole life has become as of late a classroom and I am continually learning which suits me just fine. If one ever stops learning well you can figure that one out guyz.
So I suppose right now life is cool. I just hope I can get thru all of this without running my self ragged but right now I am pretty happy with life. Stressed but happy. My health is good too and that is pretty important. I am simply trusting God and just showing u0p to do my part which what we all should do. Paix mes zamis, be blessed!
Oh wish me bonne chance with the job and all that I have to get done in the coming days.

Chaka Khan - At Midnight (INCREDIBLE VOCALS!!)

Chaka Khan - Baby Me

CHAKA KHAN / EVERYWHERE { LIVE n ITALY }

Diddy - Dirty Money - I Hate That You Love Me

Sak passe? Hopefully all is well with you guyz... Well let's see a bunch is going on as usual. Just registered and I may be taking 20 credits before it's all over but hey at least I did it early and it's according to my plans to get out of here on time. By Fall of 2011. I did my Fafsa and now I am looking for a job which reminds me because I have to do some more school things later. After my interview today at Dick's which despite it's moniker is a Burger Joint kinda famously known in Seattle. They are good for a nice quick late night drunk munch you know? Now I am up after an interesting breakfast at McDonalds where some person tried involve me in some kind of mess involving methadone or heroin.. Yeah I went to the junkie D's on the Hill it was close though and I aint never been nor will I ever be a heroin user. That's my word. At any rate I went there and had a nice breakfast almost finished the book, Sins of the Father I am reading on the Trans Atlantic African Slave Trade. Quite informative as I have indicated in other posts if you have not read this book you should. Then I left ran into the guy who I basically bypassed and headed to school where I checked email, played FV, talked to Mr. W and made I guess a date with Javiav? Not a date but like you know a meeting time. So we will hang and I will see if I can invite him down to the rally for the First Nation Carver who was gunned down by the police.
The offending officer who shot him is not going to even get a slap on the wrist after an inquest that clearly showed that he murdered that man. Oh are not the lives of people of color cheap!? This is what it is to be a man of color in Today's America. you are too often reminded that you are still not really a person by shit like this. I am actually getting angry now the more I dwell on this subject...Racism is still very much alive and well though even in a place as lovely as Seattle. The rain unfortunately does not wash away the hate or the pain.
And yes I did say that right earlier I am looking for a crappy job since the UE is gone and I must have some way to support myself. At least a paycheck will be more dependable. I have applied places now I am just waiting to find out. The thing is to do work and get done with school and then find a job that will put me through more school. I am career minded despite what all say. And so here is to this. I know I will be successful too. God has brought me way to far to just drop me like that.
So my day and my life these days is full just another rat race. But it's a race that I am most determined to win. Bien c'est tous pou maintenant. Adieu mes zamis...

Case - Let Me Down Easy

Freaknik - T-Pain feat. Snoop Dogg & Mack Maine - Ghetto Commandments

Pour la moment mes zamis, I am breaking this up juste un peu to let y'all know how I'm doing. Which is aiight. Lot;s of school work looking now for a job, gotta have that rent paid. Single which is nice... Sorry I am enjoying it and just rising slowly slowly to the top. Or at least to the top for me. Tomorrow I am going to Nicoletta's Dinner Party which should be fun. Bon bois, bon manges, good drink, good eats, and hopefully good people though I have suspicion that Mr. W and I will be the only of the People (People of African Descent) there. Still it hsould be fun. yesterday we helped run errands so she could prepare. We took her to the grocer and then back to her house for a cocktail and Nicoletta took her meds and drank a drank drank, which is basically a strong ass drank and was drunk as hell with us all at the Dollar Tree running around making us speak in British accents. We sounded a mess and some kids was laughing at us. Mr. W was doing it too. It was kool though even if I got a lil bitchy cause I was hungry but hey Mr. W got me some eats so it was all good.

Aie Aie Aie Mr. W. What can I say about that one? Hmmmm.... Okay so I related to you the past we was seeing each other and then we broke up. Here is why. He has no backbone and his stalkerish roommate was ruining our relationship. Well since I decided we didn't need to be boyfriends what do you know? Mr. W has finally grown a pair. Unfortunately for him though it took some fairly dramatic things to happen. His roommate stealing from him basically is what has prompted some much needed good sense and courage to come thru. I am not going to totally put MR. W out there like that but I will say this: IT'S ABOUT MUTHAFUCKING TIME!!!! Which is good for him, I just pray all works out for him. On l'autre main.... Hmmm well I am still seeing him though not as much and we have a nice time. I let it be known though that we are friends with benefits.

Then there is Trumph he is back again of course he never left. I have resumed seeing him again... And even now I miss him. He's doing well with the music stuff and I kinda feel like hey he is on the right road. Once again another thing good.

So yes I have my pair I wonder who my spare will be? LOL! Jokes... Kinda. School is good not crazy but good I am just taking things one day at at time. And of course my health is good. That is the most important thing. Well that is an update...All of you be blessed and have a great day. Au revoir!!!

Freaknik: The Musical Part 5

Freaknik: The Musical Part 4

Freaknik: The Musical Part 3

Freaknik: The Musical Part 2

Freaknik: The Musical Part 1

Life is so short so enjoy it and let it be a life full of joy. Joy I have found is not hard to find really. I was telling a former instructor that life is so proecious and I have found such a meaning in the life i lead now even in the face of things which bum me out that I just don't let it get me down. So dont you let it either.

Hey everyone bonjou vas tous... I am well. I went to church yesterday and heard the most inspiring word...It just really revived my spirit. Alot has been going on and I needed to hear it. Then I went out and kicked it. I know I know but it was fun I saw Maeve and Titania and it has been awhile we kicked it. I felt magical... LOL! No but it was alot of fun. Then I stumbled home and had a bacon and egg sandwich. Oh God it was so fucking good too.
Today I am going to drop off my resume and then do some online tests that shouldn't take too much time at Express yes I am going to do some temp work. See if that will put some mola in da pockets. I am really trusting God on this. And I know he will pull thru. This week I have a doctor's appointment oh Joy what great news will they tell. On this I am trusting him as well. Oh and Italian sea food dish was excellent and I am going to eat some more of it later. Well that's it for now be blessed mes amis.

So here it is life in the first month of Jan for the new year. I have begun looking for some part time work, so that I can pay the rent and finish this school thing. In the meantime I am just taking care of myself and my health. just finished up a paper and yes school is going well I am glad for that at least. I really am. I am loving life and I am even though things financially are not perfect life is okay. I will not complain.
Life is what I am making of it and I am liking it. Got a new DVD player hier and that was good. Been learning new things as I hang with Byron and who knew. he is a very cool guy and I am learning alot. Mr. W and I are no longer together we are just seeing each other again and for that I'm grateful and happy. I am not sure that I really want to be or need to be in a relationship now. I don't know if I trust it. My health is well and I am grate VLs are low, other necessaries high and I am well. I should really get to Portland to see my new niece but I can't bring myself to ever go there. I hate it too much. If I never see that wretched city it will be only too soon.

I am currently reading Sins of the Fathers about the Trans Atlantic Slave Trade. Very good book if you get a chance read it. I don't suppose I have much to report really. Life is good and I am enjoying it. Tonight I am having Cupino. I can't wait. It's like a Portuguese sea food dish and i am all ready. I am actually starving right now. That will be a nice night. Well guys be blessed. Oh I can't believe I almost forgot but Egypt!!!! WOW I am so happy for the people of Egypt and I hope they achieve their aims. Freedom, dignity, and the end to a dictatorship. Mubarak it is time to go. It's incredibly interesting how people power has been recently shaking up the Magrheb as of late. Tunisia and now Egypt. Who knows it just goes to show you that the path for freedom when people really strive for it can never ever be denied. It will bloom even in the most choking of soils. Somethings you can't destroy with fear. I figure though what a way to bring in African Hisptry Month huh?

Speaking of which this our month. Well it is and yeah I know it short but hey get it together. Read a book. Yes read a book on our History. Don't go see a movie but read. We have a rich history at hand and all you have to do to access it is to read. So here are some good books on African History specifically to get you going:

1.We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families: Stories from Rwanda. An excellent book on the Rwandan Genocide.
2. Sins of the Fathers: The Atlantic Slave Traders 1441-1807. I am reading it now you have to read this.
3. Soldier Boy- This is a novel of the Biafrian War. Very good.
4. Dogucimi- A Novel on Dahomey which id really great.
5. Masseni-A great West African Novel.
6. Aman- A biography of a Somali Woman.
and they are so much more but hey I just figured I'd give you this for now. hey guys have a great weekend and be blessed.

Bonojou vas tous? Hopefully this new year of 2011 has found you well. How were my Holdiayz? Well a bit of a bust. I didn't get to see ma famille nor did I get anything for Noel. It was all like money issues going on for the month of December. I also moved into a much better place closer to everything. Still it has been a little bit of a struggle like it never is not a struggle. I dunno I had some financial aid issues... It is just like stuff is difficult and yet I do not feel overtly stressed really. I am just doing what I need to do to make it happen. Which feels good if not slightly exhausting. Still I am slowly ever so slowly approaching completion of my goals. I can't wait. If for nothing else than to face all those who always had some shit to say and simply and finally be better than what they said I could do. Even though it has been at times a lil hectic this year feels so much better than last year and I feel like I am going to be not only okay but much better than I was last year. So here is to me and getting my goals accomplished. Vive Kyon Saucier!!!

I am alive and I am content for the most part and for me, right now that is enough....